ok ok. its a very long time i didnt blog. 1 reason? i'm feeling superduper lertargic the whole of last week. its so bz last week that i totally have no time to munch or drink a cup of water! admissions, callbells(y they cnt juz sleep!), patients going senile every single nite n need to pin them down to restrain, & sending 1st cases to OT(i hate sending 1st case coz the trolley tend to come 5min b4 0730!!!)

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whtever it is theres a BIG reason for me to still SMILE. its BONUS week last thurs!!! so happy!! having plans oredi in my head. will update once i accomplish it all.

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ok. y do i kept on keeping wats inside me. i keep on feeling hurt n despair. my parents, becoming more sensative. i REALLY have to watch i'm saying or do. my bro? i dont no wat his thinking at tyms. his EGO is forever bigger than his head! my bf? his weekends is totally in jb. so DAMN hard to talk to him now. when get a chance to talk,he'll be tired or no mood. N I ALSO D ONE WILL HAVE TO WATCH I'M SAYING! i feel like crying everyday. i wanna to shop badly. that also hard. i wanna to please myself for ONCE but end up i'm pleasing others. i told my bf that i wanna watch TRNSFORMERS n he told me see 1st. watseh!

i feeling damn shitty n stupid n dumb n idiot.

y am i complaing? m i always a complain bitch?

5th Year Anniversary

today we are celebrating our 5th year. time really fly dat fast. every year i still remember vividly how we met,date n fall in love. n along the years, how we fight, hate, scold each other n still love. it just sometime amazed me that i always love him no matter what. he always there for me. he always just know when i feel angry or sad. he would just give me call n ask how m i. its just he has this strong 6th sense of me. i'm not sure if this is a sign we meant to be.

i love you and only you. i know, u love me and only me.

Diana's Wedding

Just went to my colleague's wedding. She looked beautiul in her white wedding gown. n Fazrul(her hubby), looked sunningly handsome.

looking at them on the dias, i wonder when's my turn. i know all weddings are diffirent. but, i believe, all girls have their own fairy tale wedding. i want a very simple but memorable wedding. a wedding dat will make me smile even when i grow old. a wedding dat makes me think that AZHAR is the one and only man in my heart.

but whatever it is, i'm still waiting for his proposal. patiently.

for now,i'm counting the hours....

date(14/6/09)

had 3 weddings invitation actually. but went for 2only. also,had a shitty start wen mtg ayang. until now,

i still had to do the same old stupid routine before mtg ayang. i need to watch my words not to make him angry. sometimes i just wonder ever he understand what i'm going thru @ home? is like i'm always the ONE to please ppl i love. y i'm always be the ONE to bear their hurtfull words. n y i always be the ONE to say SORRY when i know exectly i'm not in the wrong? i've been crying alone most of the time. WHATEVER! i don't bloody care how i feel nmore.

back to my story. ya, had a shitty start. but he make me smile at the end of our date. as usual. he bought me a sunglasses for my driving. its burburry. my fav. BUT is just a cheap one. BUT i don't really care. his toughts really matter to me. he knows i have a very sensative eyes. cant get to much sun to my eyes. LOVE YOU AYANG. well after the weddings we went 'sightseeing'. then head home.

our 5TH YR ANNIVERSARY coming... just want something FROM him n i just wanna do something FOR him..

love you ayang!

Outing wif Buddies(13/6/09)

went out with my buddies. for once all 5turn up! though its just 4 few hours, we had fun. we talked, joke & laughed. as usual we will ALWAYS take pics.n BCOZ of ashik, our face will be thick coz he will insist of taking pic in the precence of people!


went toBEN & JERRY



see how the cow "blend" in with us?




2 lovely ladies that i tressure the most!



look @ ashik mouth. hilang VOUGE!



Prasan cerita HEROES


Enjoyed every min with them. love u peeps!

looking forward

this weeknight was terrible. each week getting busier n busier. i dont know if i can tahan till end of the year working perm night. if not bcoz of $$ i wouldnt want to werk perm night. is like 85% of my social life is been taken away. having weekend off is not as wonderful as what most ppl would think. when weekend comes, i HAVE to adjust my sleep like normal ppl. sometimes i feel so tired n sleepy in d day but wide as an owl at night. some ppl just dont get it. i ALWAYS try my level best. i HAVE to drink coffee 2x on sat n sun if i'm going out just to make myself awake. but my body will feel very lethargic.

today i'l meeting my buddies. and all 5 will be there! for surelots of new story from each one of us. so excited.....!

and tomorrow,3 weddings. 1sec sch frn, 1 ite frn n 1 ex colleague(shes working in another ward now). but the most exciting one is going for my sec sch frn's wedding. coz MOST of my ex schmate will be there! secsch is the most trasured moments ofmy teenage life. so each one of them has an impact in me, either small or big. so meeting them tomorrow is as exciting as we were in sch time. lots of changes for sure.

till then..

rainbow

look at theabove pic. its black and white that you'll see. but then again, stare at it closely, i've coloured the rainbow. yes, the above pic symbolised what i feel most of the time, nowadays. gloomy always but i also try to find a rainbow in me. and also with the help of bestie n boyfriend, they slowly make me shine to myself back. the hiccup that i had more than a month ago taught me always be strong. and i always believe Allah will always test us to our utmost ability. HE will never test us when HE knows we can't do it. so when a test is being tested, apart of trying to solve it, we MUST turn to HIM for directions and posible of solving with the guide of HIM.

ALLAH IS THE GREATEST...!

one week later..Again...

this week's night,we start off converting our room 11,which is a female room, to a male room. n guess wat? once we converted, admission comes w/o stopping! i felt like n idiot doing d orientation from bed 1 to bed 5,repeating the same old words. then we pushed 2 patient out to our nurses' counter. 1 was noisy n the other is confused. then one patient of HB of 5.8 in need to transfuse blood urgently.

ok,that was 1st night,

2nd night,transfuse blood again!

3rd night, transfuse FFP & blood!

last night, a 106year old confused Ah Kong! n he pulled out his urine catheter which causing some blood to spatter @ him. we pushed him to the nurses' counter.

well,wat a week,full of confused patient n transfusing of blood. but at least it kept me going n not sleepy. i do enjoy when i bz. makes me think n always improve my skill & knowledge.

wonder what awaits for me next week...<3