Sunday, May 31, 2009


i know i know. been a week didnt update. lots stuff happening to me this 1week. but for a start wat hapen exectly a week ago.


last sunday met with ayang whole family from his mum side. including some from indonesia. they were friendly n nice. i admit i was quiet most of the time. but they were so comforting till i felt so touched, feels so ACCEPTED....
after that me n ayang went for dinner n off we go somewhere quiet. when alone with him,i suddenly had this urge to hug him. he stroked my head n hug me like he never wanna let me go.
n i just cry.i cry n cry like a big baby. he was totally shocked. wen i slowed down, i talked. i pour EVERYTHING n i mean it, EVERYTHING thats been bottled up in my heart all these while. and for once he LISTENED. Listen to every word i'm saying. after i finished(which really took sometime) he looked at me n just wipe my tears n kissed me. God knows how suddenly i can feel all my worries, troubles, disappointment just been lifted from shoulder. thats exactly how, i think, i need the most at the moment. he told me he was so sorry. he felt helpless when he can help me. but he understood y i need him to just listen. n guess what, he noticed my pimples!! so embarrassing!! after all that (n others), we went home.

on fri i had my journal presentation with my group. Stress management was the topic. it was totally what i m going thru at this very moment. the symptoms, feeling of abandoned n isolated. eating alot n eating chocolate was one of the factors. no wonder i've been putting on weight!

guess thats all for now. like i said, i feeling better. smile more. ayang happy to c me smilling back again, i think so...

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